And we’re back!

Yes yes we are! We know we’ve been away for far too long, and we feel it too! Mostly because we realized our boredom needed an outlet to save the world from our weirdness and awesomeness. And well because WE HAVE NEWS!

This past weekend was a BIG BIG weekend! SOUTHIE FOUND HER FARHAN! And it was officiated in Southie’s part of North America as she sashayed around like the BEAUTIFUL BRIDE she was, giving the designated religious officiator some hilarious responses to his “do you accept/agree/understand…” questions. Also, I have to say that after Southie’s Mom ( who taught me in high school and still seems kinda scarred by that experience), Southie ( yea yea) and Mr. Southie, the religious officiator was my next favorite person! He was the most forward thinking and in sync with the times religious officiator I’ve had the privilege of listening to. And with Southie’s totally awesome responses, Mr. Southie’s “deer caught in the headlights” expression every time the religious officiator asked him questions ( he may have survived those questions because Southie’s Dad looked on sympathetically as Southie laughed at him) and the fun time I had at the wedding, I think I may have shed a tear or two.

Okay fine I didn’t, because I was very busy wondering when I could eat. And after that I knocked over the stage decor when trying to take “official picture” with the bride and groom. My high school teacher fixed my mess while adding, “still the same, eh? We’ll just let this be, by itself.” He probably does not miss having me in class, I think.

And when I wasn’t doing all of the above I was busying trying to find a female Farhan for a friend, fretting about my clothes and just generally making sure everyone didn’t forget what I sound like by talking the whole time.

But, but I did have ONE emo moment where I realized, OMG our blog has achieved it’s purpose. A Farhan has been found, though said Farhan didn’t seem very enthusiastic when I suggested changing his name to Farhan. But oh well, one never knows what Southie as Mrs. Southie can achieve. And over and above everything, Southie is now MRS. SOUTHIE!

And it deserves second mention, Southie made a pretty pretty bride and almost managed a “bridal expression” for about 30 seconds. In total, over 3 days.

PS: I know I promised an emo post, but I think I am humanly incapable of that. But if it helps, I cried buckets in my head and pretty much solved California’s drought problem. In my head. With all my love, awesomeness, sarcasm and what not Southie, Good LUCK! As my fave religious officiator said, you must first find peace in each other.

Yep, they did kinda look like that. Better in fact.

When Northie and Southie became matchmakers

What happens when you’ve been set up on a lot of AM dates, you end up wanting to set up your friends and family too! So yes, it’s official, we’ve turned into match-making aunties!! Ok maybe it was just a one-time thing. READ ON to find out why.

Northie and I were talking, and realized we have some single friends who were ‘looking’. We carefully consulted our respective friends, passed on the necessary details (i.e Facebook profile link), patted ourselves on the back, and tried to telepathically communicate to broker aunties that ‘yo, this is how it’s done’.

That’s when things started to fall apart. The girl said she would give it a shot, while the boy suddenly decided that he wasn’t in for the long distance dating. Argh boys! We now had to find a way to convey this to the girl. After much deliberation, we figured out a way.

So things ended before they could start. Needless to say, we pretty much don’t want to get into the match-making business (for now). Think Broker Aunty might have a done a better job than us…

Bubbles Carry a Lot of Weight – Texting Anxiety Caused by Little Bubbles

Texting in the dating world has always frustrated and fascinated me. Frustrated, because I don’t always understand what the person is trying to ‘imply’ and then I spend hours trying to decipher it. And that’s just one reason. Fascinated, because texting really did transform the dating game in many ways. In my case, when I mean dating, I’m really talking about Arranged Marriage dating. So now imagine (if you’ve been there, done that, then you won’t need to imagine) trying to decide if a specific boy would make a good husband over text messages. Yes people, the emoji’s you use are a huge deciding factor in the AM world! ( Also, CHECK OUT this cool Emoji Short Film. So creative! )

 

I’m including some really ‘fascinating’ blurbs from this NYT article on texting anxiety, or more specifically “typing awareness indicator” – the time between text messages. Specifically that little gray bubble with the ellipses that pops up on your iPhone while the person on the other end of your text message is writing a response.

In the particularly high-stakes conversation at hand — it was the bubble that popped up to indicate typing, then disappeared to show he had stopped. Then came back up to show typing, then went away again. Then returned for what seemed like an eternity (he must be writing something deep, right?) only to produce a response so benign (you know, like “cool” or “ya”) that it could only be topped by the humiliation of the bubble never returning at all (meaning he was flat-out ignoring me). Which I would know, of course, because I could see that he had read my message (that’s called a “read receipt”).

“The three dots shown while someone is drafting a message in iMessage is quite possibly the most important source of eternal hope and ultimate letdown in our daily lives,” said Maryam Abolfazli, a writer in Washington who has tackled the topic.

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Laura Barganier, a public relations manager in New York, told me recently, “Sometimes I don’t want someone — O.K., likely a boy — to know I’m taking so long to write a text that I start a brand-new blank text and then copy and paste it in the original chain,”

“But don’t you wonder if he wonders how you typed so quickly?” I asked.

“I fake type for a few seconds,” she responded.

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Why getting married at 27/28 is just perfect?

I agree with most things our Fellow Blogger says, but I would add – boys, some of these apply to you too. ESP the growing up and taking responsibility part. It particularly applies to you! Unfortunately, most readers of this post will be girls. Oh well.

On a cheerful note, Northie and Southie meet this weekend! Yayy! To err more boys boys boys talk. Happy 4th people!

Life And Its Genres

Off-late, a lot of people are questioning my single status. Not their fault! Being in late twenties, I am supposed to be married by now. On the flip side, my contemporaries are married and many have already popped kids. Look at me, I am still hunting for my socks. By the way, I want to get married. Yes! I am a quintessential Indian woman and marriage is definitely on my mind.

Just the other day when I was busy cracking my knuckles, I was thinking how fair is it to be not married at this age. And if this is the right age? It is people, it is! Read these reasons and let me know if you feel the same:

Being professionally settled: By now, most of us are done with higher studies (sorry PhD people). Yes, we are now pretty experienced at our respective workplaces too. Overall, we have…

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OverSharing Anonymous program

“Hello, my name is Bubbly, and I’m an oversharer.” Yes, that’s all you need to do, you oversharers, admit you have a problem and deal with it. That’s Step One of the 12-step program – Admission of the Problem.

Good. And no, there is no need to admit you have a problem on Facebook or Twitter. Keep your phone away. Thank you. Now, sit down in a dark corner and figure out the next 11 steps of the program. After everything you’ve put us through, that is the least you can do.

The oversharing plague

I’m now going to address all my fellow victims of over-sharing. Raise your hands wave, if you are a victim of oversharing. (If you’re reading this at work, like how I’m writing this at work, I would suggest not raising your hands, but just nodding your head. Not a head rock. Just a gentle nod. I think your boss will be impressed by that).

Alright, so “oversharing”, at least on social media is not something I grew up with it and I’m so grateful for that. I don’t think I could deal with Facebook, Instagram or Snap Chat during my (ahem rebellious) teenage years.

Do you have friends on your Facebook, that make you feel like you’re ON their honeymoon with them. The check-ins, the pictures, the love quotes…too much, right? Look, you’re happy and we’re happy for you, BUT maybe you’re ‘oversharing’ when for each day of your 30 day honeymoon, I know what you did, what you ate, where you sat and kissed, where you pooped,you get the drift right?

Then, we have the new momma’s on Facebook, whose new status updates is about their babies constipation issues. No joke, I do have a Facebook friend who discussed her baby’s constipation issues on Facebook. Then, I’ve seen the couple who fight, break-up and make-up all on FB, then the ones who have a cutsie ‘fight’ on who loves each other more….

Hmmmm, Northie and I’ve decided that when and if we ever have our fabulous honeymoon, we will refrain from bombarding Facebook and Instagram with pictures. Snap Chat – we’re not cool or young enough to be using that anyway. Although, we might just bombard broker aunties, thinking boy, greasy boy, uncle boy and definitely weekend boy with the fabulous pictures. And dear loyal readers, I know you’re wondering what’s going on in our lives. Lets just say we’re dealing with so many variables right now, that we’ve haven’t really felt like sharing oversharing for now. Oddly enough, the variables are not very arranged…

Anyway coming back to the topic, I know that some of you out there might be thinking – aren’t you guys oversharing on the blog, with all your arranged marriage dates and issues. I mean, do you really care about our lives? Maybe not. The blog was created for us to reflect on our situation and make you laugh along the way. You must admit that our posts can be thought-provoking, inspiring and downright hilarious! Come on admit it! That’s Step Two of the OverSharing Anonymous program you know – compliment your victim.

Ok so inner peace is setting in. I guess I’ll just sign off by saying to each his (her) own.

See that! See how reflecting and working through my rants, helps me develop inner peace!

Single woman spends 14 years with mannequin family to make a point [17 pictures]

I don’t know if I would ever get to this, I hope not at least. The pictures she’s taken with her mannequin family is simply amazing. I thought it was a cool idea, but I do wonder isn’t it a teeny bit odd that she spent 14 years with the mannequins? Here’s the article.

After hearing the same question over and over from friends and family — “Why aren’t you married yet?” — art director Suzanne Heintz got tired of it and set out to do something about it. She got herself a little family…of mannequins.

Over the course of 14 years and 10,000 miles of travel, she took her fake family everywhere and took all kinds of “family” pictures….

Next time if any Aunties asks  me – “Why aren’t you married yet?”, I might just tell them I plan to have a mannequin family soon.

 

 

Hello there…

….we’ve been MIA. We know, but with good reason! We have no stories you see, which was why we asked for THIS. But since nobody was feeling very share-y we decided to go scouting around blog-o-sphere. And tadaaa…..stories more stories! 

Like this awesome blog here – http://gitikav.wordpress.com/2014/02/23/arranged-marriage-chronicles/ 

And keeping in line with her questions, we also found this absolutely moronic WikiHow post. Really lets report this page, because I think it is downright offensive. Do you? http://m.wikihow.com/Do-an-Arranged-Marriage-of-Your-Son-in-India

Till the next time we re-appear, toodles!

Are you in the Market?

Much as we don’t identify with most of these signs, they’re funny nonetheless. Though #14 totally rings true! And yes totally EWWWW.

http://www.inonit.in/signs-youre-arranged-marriage-market?fb_action_ids=10153845065570107&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_ref=.UrwGwhTuhRs.like&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%5B442210742572378%5D&action_type_map=%5B%22og.likes%22%5D&action_ref_map=%5B%22.UrwGwhTuhRs.like%22%5D

Also in the spirit of holiday season, let’s ignore the length of the link 🙂 As always The New Yorker says it the best.

Happy Holidays y’all!

Life sans auto-correct and smartphone – Day 5 (Feels like Day 237)

You guessed right, I don’t have my iPhone,  I’m bored and I’m blogging away. Also, ‘youtubing’ away and that’s how I discovered Supawoman on YouTube . Thought this particular episode was pretty funny and very relevant to our blog – so you know what you need to do now, right? Yes, hit play and watch (duhhh)

 

Life Sans Autocorrect and Smartphones – Day 4 (Feels like Day 155)

Dear readers, my iPhone died recently and I sent out an “email” to some of my friends so I could inform them about this unfortunate incident. I’ve decided to share this with y’all –

Beloved Whatsapp Friends,

I wanted to let you know that my iPhone died today (R.I.P) and if you’ve been messaging me on Whatsapp –  I’m not ignoring you, it’s just that my spare phone is from the 13th century and does not have Whatsapp/Instagram/Email/Facebook/Google Maps..it has nothing!! Please use other means to communicate with me for the time being.

help me!

You must now allow me to mourn in peace.

 Bye,

iPhone-less Southie

 The following is a conversation between me and Northie on EMAIL, the ancient communication form…not Whatsapp…

Northie: THIS IS TRAGIC, my sympathies friend. Don’t worry igloo plans will be postponed till you are iPhoney Southie.

 Southie: Thank you for your concern friend! It is beyond tragic…beyond tragic! Don’t know how to work the alarm on the 13th century phone.

I’m going to write about my experience without a smartphone on the blog…think it will help me in the grieving process.

Long live email!

Keep me posted about what’s going on in the modern world ok!!

Northie: Yes yes, life sans smart phone. Gasp. Gulp. Give up.

Blog away, it is the only way I think. Maybe Faru can make a movie about that then. “When my smart phone died…”   Email ki jai ho.

Courtesy: haleyscomic.com

A few days later…..

Southie: Life is tough without autocorrect man

Northie: I know right – much as autocorrect gets annoying, its a life saver too. Or effort saver.

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Please excuse me now, I must go bang my head on a wall or find something else to do…….because I can’t remember what my life was like before smartphones! Now I know what life was like for the Flinstones!