Funny Indian Advertisement

One of our loyal readers, that is, one of 3.5 readers that we have (.5 are for those who just look at the pictures & don’t read) sent us this really funny Indian ad from a matrimonial website JeevanSaathi.com. On this blog, we tend to focus on Shaadi.com a lot but Jeevan Saathi does the same thing and has the same weirdos on it.You may have noticed that it takes us a very long time to get to the point on our posts. But hey that’s what makes us interesting and hilarious right?!!!

Anyhow, what I basically wanted to say was that hey you should check out this ad because it’s hilarious! I just hope my dad doesn’t get too inspired and start doing the same.

Stay tuned for some news on a new dude called ‘Mr Linku’ who doesn’t “pingu”. Don’t ask…Northie is a bit weird and says a lot out of weird shit.

Lots of love,

From the deep South

Do you wanna partner? Do you wanna partner?

Do you wanna partner? Do you wanna partner?

If I was making a movie about myself and had to pick a soundtrack for this particular phase of my life – this would be the song people!
These days whenever I see a decent looking Indian or generally Brown-looking chap on the way to work- , on the subway, on the train, on the bus – this song starts buzzing in my head.
I’m very tempted to break into a bollywood song & dance routine to sing “do you wanna partner” for those poor chaps who are now considered to be a “potential”.

Of all the matchmaking methods my folks and my extended family members are trying (& giving up on) maybe this approach would be the one that finally works???
Wouldn’t it be awesome if I could organize a flash mob to find – “the one”? All other methods haven’t proved to be very successful. Hmmm let’s see why…

Example 1: The Weekend Boy

Where do I begin? I’m not even sure. Lets just say if you happen to see me on the subway, train or bus, please refrain from asking me – “How was your weekend?”, I think i would even prefer Joey’s “How you doin?” now.

For a number of months now at the start of the weekend or the end of the weekend, the boy would message to ask me “What are your weekend plans?” or “How was your weekend?” or “What you up to this weekend”. Initially, I thought wow he really is sooo interested in me and my weekends, but by the fourth month, discussing my weekend had become very tiresome.

Northie and I decided that he was either very shy and didn’t not know what to say OR he has an automated message feature that can only ask me about my weekend.
Android phones have the “swift key feature” and he does have a android phone….that must be it…Come on, could he seriously not think of anything else to say?
Every time, I tried to steer the conversation away from the weekend to  “HIS” other interests (see how considerate I am – still trying to focus on him) , he would completely ignore my message and send me a “How’s your weekend” message a week later…..#facepalm.

Needless to say, I eventually ended it with a a very polite message that it’s just not going to work out and he replied “Hey, how was your weekend”. Ok, I’m kidding. He didn’t say that…thank god for that!

Example 2: The Knee-action Boy

Get it???

A friend of mine recently got “engaged”…oh wait maybe not…uhmmm  she’s actually not sure if it’s an engagement even.
Why you say? Either you are engaged or you are not.
Well, that’s because the boy has convinced her that “i didn’t go down on one knee and propose, so it’s NOT an engagement.”
Ok you are confused now.
If the boy’s family and the girl’s family meet to have a little ceremony to make it official, albeit without exchanging rings, it is STILL an engagement.
So dude, wake up because you ARE engaged!!! And if you really want some “knee-action” to be technically engaged – GET down on your knees and pop the question.

Example 3: Greasy or Lamp-post Boy

So I think the ‘flash mob’ method sounds a lot more appealing now.

P.S: Dear Potential Boys, I promise this not the kind of music I like or listen to, my taste in music is very eclectic..ok maybe I occasionally indulge in some Govinda ishstyle singing and dancing.

Advice we didn’t listen to.

Okay – maybe nobody told us any of this. Or if they did, we didn’t listen.

But well – if someone told 21 year old me all of this, I would totally scoff. Now I do see value in what Susan Patton says in this article,  - http://dailyprincetonian.com/2013/03/29/32755/

And the reason I agree with her, is this line “Smart women can’t (shouldn’t) marry men who aren’t at least their intellectual equal.” I think it applies to everyone, not just Princetonians no? Because really all that Southie and me really want is someone who is on the same page as us. Or at least the same book! And I think both of are fairly confident we will make our careers work. When, where, how I don’t know ( okay maybe Southie does, shouldn’t be unfair to her right ) but I know we’ll take over the world, someday. Over confidence doesn’t always hurt okay.

Thank god we have lifelong friends – our friends/confidantes/fellow jokers make AM bearable, really

Of Photographs and Parents.

You know how this blogs favorite topic is parents. Okay after Farhan, weird boys, ridiculous boys, all sorts of boys……parents are one of our favorite topics. But we do have lots of posts on them – here, here and here. That’s because they go from “No, no what do you know – you’re just a child” to “What, how have you not done this – you aren’t young anymore” in the same conversation. Mostly, everyday.

Take for example my parents – one of our first AM assignments was, we need to find a photograph where you aren’t making faces. ( yes I’m one of those, I think its important my quirkiness  awesomeness, and individual-ness is best expressed by making faces at the camera. It is also expressed by me making up words sometimes all the time.) But anyway, I’ll stop digressing before I reach the point of no return – digression wise – and then we have to talk about all sorts of things and express individual-ness…….have we reached point of no return already? *shocked expression*

Basically the mother and father needed photographs. They realized that :

(a) I have mainly weird pictures

(b) They don’t actually have any photographs of me after I turned 18. ( my parents believe in the importance of a photographs folder because “who wants computer pictures, go print them for me” is their thing. My brother and me are sort of lazy and don’t always end up printing stuff)

Being the ever helpful daughter I am – I suggested they just log into my Facebook account and check if there is any photograph that doesn’t make them think they raised a monkey. Note: my mother refuses to add my brother or me on Facebook because she believes we will ruin her “peace of mind” with our most likely stupid posts all day. In fact she even rejected our “requests for friendship”. My father has one friend on Facebook – my mother.

Hence the need for password exchange.

My suggestion was met with stony silence. Which was followed by my mother telling me she couldn’t believe how I was so flippant about privacy – giving around my Facebook details like this. This was followed by a lecture on how privacy is MOST important in the digital age when our lives are all but public. Apparently, the only thing I should guard with more care than my passport was my privacy.

Since I don’t give up too easily – I did try to explain how this was going to save us time and effort and boring conversations. But more stony silences and privacy law lectures followed my passionate defense of the initial offer.

Obviously – I had to look at my monkey pictures myself to see if there was a non-monkey one hiding somewhere. And yes since you asked – I did find two.

Meanwhile this is how I amuse (not) my parents these days. Truly WTF no? Like the last one?

Love on the Train……

….or bus, bar, taxi, anywhere. Apparently this girl here will find you love in the most likely or unlikely places ever. For more on her, read this - http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/04/on-the-hunt-with-new-yorks-subway-matchmaker.html . And no from what we read, which is also what you read – she isn’t some Hitch type heart broken person mending her life/other’s life or anything. She actually enjoys doing this. I guess it takes all types, no?

So Southie and me are running to her (NOT).

Because you know we are still too cool and all. And we really love our Broker Aunty. (ha ha ha ha) But also because we are really strict about our public transport conversations staying in the public arena, usually. If a Before Sunrise type moment did come however, we are totally TOTALLY cool with it. Speaking of Before Sunrise – see whats coming up!

Meanwhile we’ll bring you stories of greasy boys, interview boys and much much more ( watch this space!)

Of Greasy Boys and Men.

You know how we said here, tell us your story and we’ll publish it. Well sometimes when you don’t tell us your story, we seek them out! Okay not really, we talk to our friends, exchange AM woes/stories and ask if we can put the story on our blog.  But a lack of activity in our life doesn’t mean we aren’t actively looking….for stories!

So anyway, this is my friend’s story – and no this isn’t an April Fool joke. But if you want I can totally play April Fools jokes – you first okay? But why is your boss peering over your shoulder as you read this??? ( fine fine that was a little lame…)

Said boy, lets call him Greasy Boy, does actually exist. He is called Greasy Boy because he forgot to shampoo his hair before he met my friend. But my friend being a delightfully open minded girl  overlooked that until…

Greasy Boy: You have great legs.

Delightful Friend: Huh? *eats her pasta really quick to hide WTF expression*

Greasy Boy: Yea yea like a Lamp Post. 

Delightful Friend: Umm…..excuse me? 

Greasy Boy: Yea yea – I checked all your pictures on Facebook before coming. And my first thought was – lamp posts, those legs are lamp post material dude. 

Delightful Friend: *Smiles painfully and continues to eat Pasta*

Following the exchange, my friend sermonized Greasy Boy for being a total idiot – in her head – while he went on talking about the various types of lamp posts there are in their city.

Greasy Boy: if you are reading this. Please wash your hair 3 times a week. And remember this golden rule, fully explained in this post.

Why it is hard to date women in India….

“An anonymous user’s post on a social networking platform has gone viral. The user, who alleged that he was arrested for approaching a woman for a date, has set a debate going on the other side of the sexual harassment story that no one talks about. That it’s enormously difficult to approach Indian women within the constraints of a conservative society for a romantic liaison that is not pre-approved by her parents.

The authenticity of the post is debatable. But the points raised, even by a fictitious male user, have been discussed in earnest among social networkers, especially males, as valid guidelines on how to go about asking out a woman for a date without risking, let’s see, a police FIR.”

Read what happened to him HERE.

Arrested for asking a woman out? I’m having a lot of trouble believing his story. This is obviously his version of the story. Could there be more to the story? Did the girl feel so threatened about a coffee date that she wanted him arrested? Was she overreacting?

In ‘We are like that only…’ the guy blames Northie’s friend for over reacting since she’s Indian. So are we an irrational lot that overreacts for “silly reasons”? I know that these are two different situations, but I think we do have our reasons for acting out.

I’ve never lived in India, but I have experienced the ‘male gaze’ whenever I visited in India, even though I was dressed in a Salwar Khameez. So, no we cannot blame the short skirts. The male gaze and the attitude of the men in India has probably conditioned women to be a little afraid when a man approaches her like that.That being said, I do understand that in certain situation women in India do have an unfair upper hand that they do misuse. And maybe that’s what happened in this case?

In any case, the IBN article raises some interesting counterpoints to the man’s story:

- Assuming that dating is being discussed in the context of urban, independent, working women, the gaps in the personal security they are entitled to are too much to risk a casual encounter with a complete stranger.

- While overreaction is completely unwarranted, there are brutal crimes against women – in both cities and villages – being recorded every day. They have little or no access to police protection, calls of distress go unnoticed and mostly ignored and they face domestic violence.

- Most women have their guards up against any approach by a member of the opposite sex thinking perhaps that it’s better to be safe than sorry.

- It will be sweeping generalization to assume that all women behave bizarrely when approached by men for a date. Or that you need to stay away from them because you never know what gesture of yours they will misinterpret as an attempt to ‘outrage their modesty’.

- India is still largely a patriarchal society and the guiding hands in matters of romance are often of the parents. You cannot wish that away. But the situation is largely changing as women from small and far flung cities and towns migrate in search of work and live alone in big cities, and make independent choices.